Love won

Someone makes the first move. It's a secret handshake in our family.

 Sometimes it helps to end a fight, sometimes it's just because it's a happy moment, sometimes it's to say sorry, sometimes it's to "talk" without talking.

Three squeezes means "I love you."

Four squeezes means "I love you, too"

On and on the squeezes will go until someone decides it's enough. 

I had a very challenging moment with one of my kids who was struggling to be humble and apologize to me. She told me she would "stay in her room till she was 30 before she wanted to be humble."

She did not want to let it go and work through the issue, so she continued to feed and feed and feed her grudge.

I knew it would take awhile. Battle of the wills!

We rushed to violin, all was quiet in the car. No one was talking, just music. I begged the Lord for wisdom on helping her move past this incident so the burden could be lifted from her. I had no words at the moment.  I reached back waiting for her hand. When she gave it to me, I gave her three squeezes. She replied with four squeezes, then me three back, her four until I was about to run off the road and realized that this may be a "dangerous move" while driving. Her heart was starting to melt.

As I was driving, two stories we read this week flooded my mind during our hand squeezes and I knew that I needed to share them with her. The others got out of the car and I kept her for a moment and asked her to remember the stories with me of Jesus on the cross where His enemies were treating Him horribly and He asks God to forgive them.  I also asked her if she remembered the story of Stephen, mocked, hurt, stoned, and as he lay dying and God not hold their sin against them. It was as if right then and there, he forgave them.

Luke 23:32-34

³² Two others, who were criminals, were led away to be put to death with him. ³³ And when they came to the place that is called The Skull, there they crucified him, and the criminals, one on his right and one on his left. ³⁴ And Jesus said, “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do

Acts 7:54-60

⁵⁴ Now when they heard these things they were enraged, and they ground their teeth at him. ⁵⁵ But he, full of the Holy Spirit, gazed into heaven and saw the glory of God, and Jesus standing at the right hand of God. ⁵⁶ And he said, “Behold, I see the heavens opened, and the Son of Man standing at the right hand of God.” ⁵⁷ But they cried out with a loud voice and stopped their ears and rushed together^[d] at him. ⁵⁸ Then they cast him out of the city and stoned him. And the witnesses laid down their garments at the feet of a young man named Saul. ⁵⁹ And as they were stoning Stephen, he called out, “Lord Jesus, receive my spirit.” ⁶⁰ And falling to his knees he cried out with a loud voice, “Lord, do not hold this sin against them.” 


They forgave even though their enemies never said they were sorry or asked for forgiveness.

I made the first move towards my child, even though I was the one wronged. I told her I forgave her and loved her even if she never said she was sorry or asked me to forgive her.

This is love.

She told me later as she was going to sleep how she had really felt.  She had been thinking of these things and wanted to ask me for forgiveness and ask God to forgive her. What was so sweet was when she mentioned feeling "tickly and happy inside." I know it's because her burden was lifted and in the end...

Love won.