Caught!

I had to really humble myself to write this today. I've been too embarrassed to write it before now. I did a really dumb thing this weekend. It's actually been a great lesson for me to learn.. more on obedience to God and to my husband.
It's the law to not talk on a cell phone while driving on a military base (unless you have a hands free phone which I do not have.) I have known this well and have honestly ignored the rule. I have even justified it several times. "I'm just going down the road." "I see others doing it so maybe it's not a rule anymore," "It's an important call and it can't wait" Yes, pitiful excuses. I am just being gut honest. What is even worse is that I get "that feeling" in my heart when I know I shouldn't be doing it, and do it anyway. My husband has reminded me several times what would happen if I got caught and gets frustrated when he has to keep reminding me. ( hmmmm- is this the same scenario with my own children?)
I got caught on Saturday. My license has been suspended for 5 days. The worst part about it was telling Gabe. He was not happy. While the military police were writing me a citation, I just prayed. I realized that God had answered a specific prayer request in a strange way and I actually smiled in my tear streaked face. I asked God to discipline me hard-- to do what He needed to do to make me more dependent on Him, more willing to obey His Word. I have been praying it for awhile and that is what came to me as I sat in my car out in the open where everyone could see me- lights flashing. I thought as I sat that God’s words were flashing and saying “OBEY ME! OBEY ME! OBEY ME!” I was disciplined hard, for sure.
My disobedience affects everyone else in the family. Here are some of the consequences of my sin: Since I can’t drive, I won’t be able to go to music class on Tuesday or bible study on Thursday. I am not able to do my normal grocery shopping during the week or run errands- just to name a few. What this means is my husband who has a busy day at work will have to go pick up medicine at the pharmacy, do birthday shopping for Ella Grace and return library books for me.. not that he minds, BUT, it’s much easier when I can do it and frankly, it’s my job.
These are truths that I have been teaching my kids. How can I effectively teach them with a clear conscience when I am not doing my job obeying God and my husband? May I be a doer of the Word!!! May I act on what I know is true. My mistake was to God’s glory. He has turned me closer to Him and has given me a greater hunger to follow HARD after Him. You won’t see me on my cell phone on base anymore. My license would be suspended a whole year. Yikes!